A Cure.

If there was a cure for diabetes, something that would make it so you'd never have to do another injection, or test blood sugars, or go to clinic, or go too low or go too high, would you take it?

Here's the thing, I'm not sure that I would. I've had diabetes for more of my life than I haven't, and now its become part of me, its something I've gotten used to, and I'm not sure how I could adjust to life if I didn't have to wake up every morning and do an injection.

I'd be the first to admit it, diabetes is a bugger, it's bloody annoying, after the 4th injection in the day you start to feel like a bit of a pin cushion and it's a bugger, but I'd rather do that than have to go through another operation that might not work in order to evade injections which I've been doing for ages anyway.

I find clinic annoying to be fair, don't get me wrong- I LOVE the nurses and the people, but it takes a few hours out of my friday every few months and the hospitals are too warm. But in the grande scheme of things it's not so bad if I'm honest, and like I say- the people are lovely, especially the nurses and doctors. I remember, I used to go a clinic in Leeds for my kidneys, I used to adore the receptionist, I used to chat to him a lot and had a great laugh.

Nah, I wouldn't take the cure if there was one, I'm sure for some people it would be fantastic and such a relief, but for the most part I'm just fine the way I am :)

Keep Smiling
Love, Tutti-Frutti
xxx

Deciding About A Change Of Regime

I've been researching the pump and I have to say I don't know whether or not I'm sure about it. On one hand there is the fact that those on the pump do not have to administer as many injections and it is said it gives them better control, however that comes at a price.

The price being I'm not sure whether having something constantly attached to me is the right choice. Also, I do a fair bit of physical activity and I'm not sure whether that would infringe what I do in regards to a lot of walking and swimming.

Furthermore, the device is thousands of pounds and I'm not too keen on having the thought of going on it and having to stay on it if I disliked it.

Like everything, I suppose it has its pros and cons, I had to consider the same pros and cons before taking up the basal bolus and also before taking up cyclophosphamide when I had the kidney problems, I'm going to look into it more and ask my nurses about it, but I don't think i'll end up going on it- I'm sure it's fabulous for some people, but for me it's just not looking like the right choice, and It's not good to go into something without knowing options and pros and cons of what youre going in to.

Keep Smiling :)
Love, tutti-Frutti
xxx

Meetings And Communication In Diabetes.

As I think I've already mentioned, I am rather too independent with my diabetes control. I keep most of it to myself, even when I am aware that it is infringing my health. Today, I lost some of my hold over my diabetes, and though the thought scared the hell out of me at first, now that it's over and done with I've come to the conclusion that it wasn't so bad.

The Problem I Had:
The main problem I had derives from what my psychology teacher explained to me, basically, there was my counsellor, and people from hospital aswell as people from home all meeting at school with people from school (including myself). My psychology teacher explained to me that I have to have things in context in my head and I keep them rigourosly into the context that I know them from, he classed it as I have additional needs because when I try place them in another context I really start to stress out more than I should. I have them in boxes almost, so the people from hospital are in a hospital box, and my counsellor has her own box ect ect, but what happened today was that all of my boxes were mixed up and I didn't know how to cope with it properly. But the people from school, and my counsellor especially did a good job at keeping me calm enough to be able to talk to them properly, and I'm happy enough now that there are things that have been said which probably wouldn't have been said otherwise.

I've agreed to let people in a bit more as far as my diabetes is concerned. Counselling, is mine, that stays between me and my counsellor, but diabetes, I can't cope with it on my own like I thought I could, I don't think any of us can, obviously I've tried, but I guess I let the freedom get to my head, and then when I hit problems I didn't want to relent my hold. It was a control thing above all else I guess.

I'm better at the minute, I have a thirty day blood sugar average of 5.4 which is brilliant. And I'm not actually putting myself into harms way like I probably was before. So though I was scared of that meeting, though my psychology teacher thinks I have additional needs because I can't deal with people out of context (I probably agree with him) It was the best thing to have this meeting, it really was, I don't want one again in a hurry though :D

Keep Smiling :)
Love, Tutti-Frutti
xxx

A perfect, imperfect diabetics guidebook to diabetes.

I changed the title of my blog today as when I was thinking about it, it occured to me that I am writing a kind of guidebook. What then struck me was that usually guidebooks are written by professionals and perfect people who know how to be the perfect version of what they are guiding people with, but I'm not perfect. Go and find me a perfect diabetic! There isn't one, I cannot consider myself as a perfect well controlled diabetic who never wishes she hasn't got it, because I'm not and to think of it, I've never in my life met a diabetic who is a "perfect" diabetic- we all have up days and we all have down days. I can't answer all about diabetes, all I know I know from the doctors, but more so from personal experience.

I used the word "guidebook", but I don't think I'm guiding people. I can't tell people how to live, or that they must do this and this to keep their diabetes in control. It would be wrong of me to do so as I sometimes cannot follow my own rules, and this would make me one of what I hate most, it would make me a hypocrite. Maybe, it's not so much a guidebook, but people can look and identify themselves in me, because we share similar experinces and thoughts and feelings about living with diabetes, and that in itself is good becasue it then means that you can accept that you're not alone.

Notice I refer to myself as an "Imperfect Diabetic", I am. I mess about with my diabetes something chronic when I want to. and I'm not proud of it but I promised I would tell it how it is, ad the reality is that, that sometimes is just the way it goes. And I'm fairly certain that I am not alone in this view, I am not the only diabetic in the whole world who has messed about with their diabetes for whatever reason.

Keep Smiling :)
Love, Tutti-Frutti
xxx

People Can't Accept What They Don't Understand- So Make Them Get It!

It's common sense really that manages to dictate to us that people in general have a hard time accepting something that they do not understand. It has come to my attention, more so recently, that teenagers in particular are having trouble finding acceptance of their diabetes from their friends, this appears more so when the person is diagnosed in their teenage years.

Personally, I consider myself incredibly lucky. I was diagnosed when I was 4 (nearly 5) and my friends, though not really having such a grasp on all the medical jargon, had a good enough grasp of what I was saying in order for them to accept and understand that I might be a tad different to them, but that was no reason to treat me so. I find young children are so much more accepting, they don't question as much the logisitcs, they will question the situation, and then it seems to miraculously make sense, and if it doesn't they will pursue it, but not with such caution, resulting in them not treating you as though you have been contaminated. The problem of being diagnosed in your teenage years, is that teenagers aren't as likely to accept change or understand the differneces. Again I was very lucky, my close friends at school seemed to think that if I was going to be late for dinner on account of going to the school nurse to inject, then they would be too, and they came with me. One lunch time supervisor hated this, in fact she tried to tell my pastoral manager that I wasn't really diabetic- Like I didn't have anything better to do with my time then visit the school nurse every day! But apart from her, I was accepted for all of me, if my sugars were bad, I was still accepted and they knew how to help, otherwise it was never mentioned, we had an unspoken understanding about this.

What I'm trying to say, is if your friends don't accept you, it's because they don't understand the rather obvious differences. So make them! Sit down and tell them how it is. Most of my mates have had their blood sugars tested out of their own personal curiosity- it helped them to understand what I do every day. They understand that if I'm doing an injection, I don't like people looking, and so very diplomatically the lot of them continue with their conversations as though nothing is happening, and I love them for that. It is possible to get understanding from friends- I'm living proof, it just might take some time is all :)

Keep Smiling
Love, Tutti-Frutti
xxx

The Pros and Cons of Carbohydrate Counting

I have been on the carb counting regime (or if you want the medical jargon- Basal Bolus) for just under 4 years now. From my experience it has a lot of pros and cons, in light of the new advancements for diabetics (I'm speaking mainly here of the diabetes pump which I have to admit I'm still rather dubious about myself) I think it is important to weigh up these pros and cons.

A bit of background.
Basically, and I'll try to keep this as simple as possible, my daytime insulin (orange bottle) is called Novo-Rapid. As the name suggests it is fast acting insulin. To determine how much of it I take, I must first determine how many carbohydrates (yes, carbs not sugars) I take with a meal. For example, because the only thing I am sat next to is a lucozade bottle please forgive me for this, but imagine for dinner I am going to be an idiot and simply have a bottle of lucozade (please for gods sake don't do that) In 380ml of lucozade (a full bottle) there is 65.0g carbohydrates. Move the decimal point one to the left and you are left with 6.5 (a smaller number, and is now much easier to work with) round 6.5 up (if it were 6.4 you would round it down-that's simple maths) and you have now ended up with 7 carbohydrate portions. I am on a 3:1 ratio for my meals meaning that for every one carbohydrate portion, I intake 3 units of insulin. So with this in mind, on my ratio if I were to have a bottle of lucozade for a meal, I would have to take 21 units of insulin to combat it (you see how it works? If my ratio were 2:1 I would take 14 units ect ect). We all know insulin controls the blood sugars- too much insulin the sugars drop, too little and they go too high (obviously there are a lot of external factors too of course- illness and stress and hormones all have effects too aswell as a whole range of other things). The other insulin I take is called Levimir (green bottle) this is my night time insulin which I only take once a day (though I am told that some people take this more than once). This insulin is a base line insulin, it is not fast acting, it releases slowly and should last up to 24 hours. Because it releases slowly, it makes it ideal for regulating the blood sugars while we are sleeping, as it wont take any dramatic turns.

The Pros of Basal Bolus.
-Eating times. One of the previous banes of my life was that I had to eat at particular times, I could be out with friends and we would have to stop what we were doing in order for me to eat at the correct time- and that was annoying. With basal bolus you have a lot more control over what times you eat- which consequently also means you can have a lot more lie-ins on weekends!
-More control over WHAT you're eating- This regime doesn't just give you more control over when you eat. It also gives you more control over what you eat. Basically, you can eat pretty much anything, as long as you take into consideration the carbohydrate content and inject accordingly.
-Snacks. Firstly, anyone who has been on the 2 injections (human mixtard I was on) will know that in order to regulate blood sugar levels with this regime you had to eat snacks at various points of the day, this got annoying and I especially hated people staring at me in the class, however, with basal bolus it isn't necessary to eat snacks- and should you get hungry at all and want one that's also possible- you just have to do another injection for it.
- It makes you a bit more like your friends. We all know it's a bit of a sod to watch your friends eating chocolate at break and about to offer you some when suddenly they remember and look all sheepish at you and apologise. I kind of  got used to this, but when I started basal bolus and my friends realised that they could now offer me chocolate and I could accecpt if I wanted to it went down a treat for both them and myself. :)

The cons of basal bolus.
-4 injections instead of two- nobody likes feeling like a pin cushion! The main problem I find with basal bolus is that you do start to feel like a pin cushion, on the average day you will have 4 injections, and this could be more if you happen to be eating more, and it's a bit of a pain to be honest, it's where the pump is probably a better idea.
-Carbohydrate counting can get a bit tedious- tell me honestly, who likes staring at food packets! Most things you can sort of learn by heart, other things you can kind of guess a little bit using informed judgement, but I find I have to refer to packets a lot too, and that is tedious! But then if you don't do it you get ill.....
- Sometimes the insulin ratios need revising- Since I started this 4 years ago, I've flicked back and forth from a 2:1 ratio to a 3:1 ratio, depending I think on a lot of variables regarding what is going on at the time (illness and such), but still this is another pain, because you think you've got something sorted and then all of a sudden your insulin seems to start not working and you're back to square one!
-The freedom of food and when you eat can get you into some bad habits- from my point of view, on the two injections I stayed very very healthy because I had to. When I had all of this freedom, it was something new for me, so instantly I went for all the stuff I didn't usually have- full fat fizzy drinks, chocolate and sweets and crap food all round. I've sorted that now, but it's easier to do when you have less obligations.

Please do not consider what I've written here to have any degree of medical certainty. I am not a doctor or a nurse or in fact in any way shape of form medically trained. I do however possess one thing that the majority of these doctors and nurses don't have- personal experience. They have experience in dealing with patients who are on this regime, I have experience in actually being on it. I can tell you from a less complicated point of view that is not tarnished with medical language. But I'm not medically trained, and my experience will probably differ from that of other diabetics- individual differences play HUGE parts in everything. :)

Keep Smiling :)
Love, Tutti-Frutti
xxx

Diabetes And Normality

During a discussion with a friend once about the possibility of a cure for diabetes, she was shocked when I told her I probably wouldn't take it. She asked me "Wouldn't you like to be normal?"

Wouldn't you like to be normal?
My, my, what a question. It took me a while to find the answer, and when I found it I realised that I didn't really have to search too far. I answered her question with a question, after a while thinking I smiled, turned to her and said "What's to say I'm not normal?" Let me assure you all now, a person with diabetes is not abnormal. I have studied abnormality in psychology and nowhere did I come across a sentence stating that a diabetic is abnormal. I'll give you, I'm not normal, but that's not anything to do with the diabetes, that is because I point blank refuse to follow a lot of conventional ideologies because they don't fit in what I class as moralistic or in any way shape or form decent. If normal is to backstab a business partner in order to get yourself higher in the workplace, then I refuse to do it. But I'm being obtuse here, I know what my friend meant, I merely had to question her choice of wording.

My friends definition of normal:
I am well aware that my friend was not implying in any way shape or form that I am for a second abnormal on account of my diabetes. What she meant, Is would I not like to live my life like I see the majority of my friends living it? Wouldn't I like to get up in the morning and not have to inject? Wouldn't I like to be exempt from going too low or too high and acting like a drunk person in the process? Wouldn't I like to drink alcohol with my friends, and then not have to check my blood sugars for signs of them dropping? I thought back to primary school, at 10am and 2pm where I would eat and try to avoid the eyes of my classmates, and the comments about how they would love to eat in class. I thought back to that first time in class 2 where I explained to my classmates about injecting and saw the look of shock and confusion on their faces-the first time I ever really felt seperate and exempt from my other classmates. I remembered a time, in secondary school, where the uneducated people in the year above me found out of my bringing injections to school, and mercilessly taunted me with "druggie" whenever they got the chance and asked me if I would supply them with some and would it get them high? I remembered this, then slightly shamefully, admitted to my friend that yes, I  would like to be normal.

Temporary Lapses Get Us All, Its Where Do We Go From There?
That was one of my temporary lapses. If I had gone through being diabetic that many years, and watched my non-diabetic friends live their lives and not even for a fleeting moment wished "God, If only I were like them" I wouldn't be human. I don't care how optimistic a person is about being diabetic, we still aren't robots, and it's okay to feel sometimes that you'd rather be "normal" and not have to inject and test blood sugars every day-thats okay, dare I say it- That's normal! Diabetes is tedious at times, and it sure as hell isn't easy. Just remember that after your lapse, you can stand up again, carry on like you were before, accept that maybe you aren't exactly like your friends, but that doesn't mean you aren't normal, and smile again properly. Lapses are normal and common. Its normal to feel sometimes like life dealt you a bit of a rubbish hand- because to be fair it did, but it could have dealt you a worse one. Remember that.

Keep Smiling :)
Love, Tutti-Frutti
xxx

Diabetes- The Social Side :D

People consider diabetes as just an illness, and (dare I say it) a disability. But the truth is, it's so much more than that. There is a social side to it, a social side that, if you allow it to be, can be fantastic!

I've been lucky with my friends:
I've been very very lucky with how my friends react to my diabetes. Most of my friends now know me well enough to know my hatred for sympathy, I don't mind answering questions- questions are human, but I don't like people being sympathetic towards it. But my friends and I don't really talk about it to be honest. They all know what to do if they're with me and I get into a situation where I can't deal with it myself. They all know what to give me. But, unless they want a specific question answering, they tend to leave me be with it :) And on the odd occasion that I have needed help in doing something, they rise to the challenge magnificently and  don't panic or anything- they just help! And then when I'm sorted, apart from the "Are you okay's" from them, no more is said about it, and I respect them so much for that. I had one friend buy and bring me lucozade when I was going to his house and forgot to bring it myself!


But that was my existing friends. I haven't mentioned the friends I've met through having diabetes. One of the best images I've managed to keep in my head was one from quite a recent time with my diabetic friends who I meet up with monthly. We all took over the toilets in the cinema, and all of us were doing an injection, which must have looked quite bad if anyone had walked in and just seen us without knowing we were diabetics! But this is now, even when I was little I had diabetic friends. We used to go on outings and such, we went to theme parks and everything, it made being diabetic that bit more fun. And the girls group which I currently attend is a great idea for diabetics I think. You can discuss it if you want- and they all understand, otherwise it's just like going out with a group of friends, but without diabetes I never would have met them.

See, it's not all bad. Diabetes can be a good thing, it brings people closer together I think at the very least, and I've certainly made friends through having it!

Keep Smiling
Love, Tutti-Frutti
xxx

It Only Affects If You Let It

Thought I'd take a minute to mention this as it's prominent. A few months ago I was staying at my grandmas house and there was a magazine on the table, I opened it and flicked through it and happened to come across an article about a boy with diabetes, that I have to admit really angered me.

This article was written by the boys mother, and basically stated that, because of diabetes, her son could never be a teenage rebel. Now, being a teenage rebel myself I am really prepared to say that no way shape or form is that true. Here's the deal, Diabetes doesnt control you, you control it! The thing which really angered me about this woman, was that it occured to me, what sort of example was she setting her son by saying such things? By focusing on what he couldn't do, what sort of an example is that? That's like saying- "Yes son, it's a big change, Your life will never be the same and it will change for the worse, you're never going to be normal or like everyone else now, so we should all treat you differently aswell."

I'm not a heartless person. I remember being diagnosed with diabetes, it's an upheaval, it's a big change for everyone involved and I'd be prepared to say that the older you get it the worse it is for you because you have adjusted to life around you already and you have to change that. And no parent wants their child to be ill. And no child in their right mind, would actually want diabetes, it's not the best of things to have :P But the thing to remember is, when you have it, you have it. you can't change that, you can just adapt and live with it. If I'd grown up with parents who specialised in telling me how special and amazing I was for having diabetes and coping with it when all of my friends didn't, I dread to think how I would have turned out! Fortunately, I grew up with parents who allowed me the freedom to do my own injections even before leaving the hospital, and whilst at parties with friends, those parents who asked my mother what I could and couldn't eat were in for a surprise when my mother told them to ask me because I knew! I grew up with parents, who focused on me as a child, and not my disability.

I used the word disability there diliberately because I hate it. I'm well aware that diabetes is classed as a disability, and I hate it with a passion. Here's the thing- I can do everything you can do, I am not slighted in any way shape or form. I am exactly the same as you are, to look at me, you'd never even know! Put it this way- I drink a tad more lucozade than most (maybe I just have a fetish for it) and have to give myself what my body can't (but when you have cold and you're popping the paracetamol, you're giving your body the defences it can't give you, does this make you disabled? No!) The problem with the word "disability" is that people put too much emphasis on the "dis" when they should be putting more emphasis on the "ability". We are no different to anyone else. We don't need special treatment or sympathy. If anyone is sympathetic towards me and my diabetes I become really uncomfortable and don't like it, It's not a case of being really brave, It's a case of Do it or die. Simple as.

You'd be surprised I'm sure to learn that I don't like blood, nor do I like needles. And I don't like it when people without diabetes turn around and say "I could never be diabetic, I don't like needles", nor do I, I put up with it because I have to. I'm not saying that I'm the perfect diabetic either, I've messed about with it on occasions, and I probably haven't learnt from messing about with it, there will come a time when I mess about with it again. But that's just life, it's the way it is and there's nothing to change that. I don't mess about with it for sympathy, on many occasions I think it's just to show that I can! But I'm sensible enough to not let it get too far, it' not worth it, and if trying to do that is trying to show the control I have in my life, well then in reality I'm handing the control over to the diabetes. Like I said earlier, the trick is to control the diabetes, not let the diabetes control you!

Keep Smiling :)
Love, Tutti-Frutti
xxx

It's All In The Advancements

Human Mixtard 30 G E. That sentence will be in my head for an eternity. That was the old insulin regime I was on. 2 injections a day, accompanied by 2 snacks, one at 10am and the other at 2pm (which was a bit of a bugger when you fancied being unnoticed by the class). I did all injections myself- of course. I think my parents way of thinking, and I thank them for it, was that one day I'm going to have to cope with the diabetes on my own, so if they could instill a lot of independence with it from the start, it would make it so much easier. And it did! I'm 16 now, and with my diabetes at least I am fiercely independent (to such an extent that when it is making me ill and if I am struggling, I find I don't tell anyone until rather too late, not something I would reccomend though guys). But I'd rather be like that, than having to rely on everyone else to count my carbs and do my injections!

Seriously though, when I was young, I had less control over what I ate and when I ate it. There were strict meal times, strict dietry regulations, insulin that came from animals! And look at it now! There are insulin regimes (like the one I'm on Basil Bolus) that give you so much more control over what you eat and when you eat it. Of course that can have it's bad sides if you don't do it sensibly (come on guys admit, we've all messed about with it, because diabetes is tedious, it really really is and sometimes, though it's bad, it's kind of good to rebel, right?) I'll admit, in the past, especially just recently, I haven't been sensible, and I'm not saying it's a good thing, I'm saying it's a normal thing, and those who don't have diabetes or haven't worked with people who have diabetes probably wont understand that! The insulin nowadays, is produced in a lab, it no longer comes from animals- another advancement. I bet one day, they'll find something to do with replacing the pancreas, or what was wrong with it. They'll be a cure for diabetes. Also, it's important to note, when I was diagnosed I was kept in the hospital for a few days, but I know of people now who are being diagnosed and being sent home the same day. There is so much more understanding about it now than there ever was when I was little, and new advancements and theories in how best to deal with diabetes are coming out all the time!

If they brought out a cure, I'm not sure I'd take it. Diabetes doesn't define me, only my actions define me and who I am, but while I am well aware that it doesn't define me, I can't lie that it is a big part of my life and has been since I was very little, I barely remember what it was like before I was diabetic, and I might find it too strange to have to wake up in the morning and not take an insulin injection! Diabetes has become part of me, I'm not saying I'm always happy with it, in fact happy is completly the wrong word because what sort of nutter is happy with diabetes? That would only be a mad persons point of view! But I can deal with it usually, I have my lapses the same as everyone else, bad days when I wish that I could eat whatever or not eat whatever and not have to face the consequences, but generally, it's manageble. My average reading which I checked today, is at 4.9, that is fantastic and I'm really pleased with that, especially as a few weeks back I really let things slip! Just trying to keep it up. And it's boring, but It's a boring necessity.

And technology is now playing it's part in the blood moniters! I don't have to spend my life writing down readings anymore because a lady on a laptop at the hospital can print them off for me when I go! Isn't that amazing? I used to hate writing them down with a passion, it took half of my bloody life up doing that, and then we'd only go forget them when I went to the hospital anyway, and now because of all the advancements they've made things so much easier for us diabetics who have better things to do with their time than writing down 3 months woth of blood sugars for the hospital :p :)

Advancements make it easier. I've had diabetes almost 12 years now, and I'll be the first one to put my hands up and say that this is not in any way shape or form and easy thing to live with, especially in the teenage years it becomes really hard. But just because something isn't easy, does not make it bad, and the world will never throw more than you can take at you, so if you're having a bad day, just remember that. And remember, It's normal to have lapses and spaces of time where you think that you don't care about your blood sugars and taking the right injections, we aren't robots and nobody gives us guidebooks on how to be the perfect diabetic. Just make sure you've got someone to lean on, someone who can help, as long as they don't strip away your independence, It should be fine :D

Keep Smiling :)
Love, Tutti-Frutti
xxx

Diabetes- My Story

A Bit Of Background.
For those of you who are unaware, Diabetes Type 1 is literally where the pancreas stops producing the insulin which is needed to regulate the blood sugars in the body. Type on is the least common of type 1 and 2, but more commonly seen in children then in adults. It can be regulated by insulin injections, though it has to be closely monitered.

I'm Not Here To Sell You A Sob Story :)
Ok, if you've read any of my other blog you can probably see that I'm usually pretty optimistic. Nowhere in my other blog have I mentioned this, but I have been type one diabetic since I was 4 years old. This is my story, but it isn't a sob story, it's a story more of hope and a laugh with the doctors and hospital staff who I have come to love so much, more than anything else. It's a story that proves that being diabetic isn't the end of life as you know it, and even in teenage years, it shouldn't stop you from doing anything.

Picture This :)
4 years old. Easter holidays. A girl is getting more and more excited, she's going to stay with her nana in that amazing bungalow for a few days, and she's going to have an amazing time. At such a young age she is unaware of how people are worried that she is becoming rather too skinny, all she knows is that she likes the sweets that they give her when she comes out of the school in the afternoon! And she is blissfully unaware that they are worried about the amount that she is drinking and going to the toilet, though she realises herself that she drinks a lot, having found herself on more than one occasion rather agitated because nothing ever seemed to quench her thirst. She doesn't realises, that on occasions she has been blanking her parents and going into sort of trances, which eventually forced her parents into thinking that maybe she was deaf. She knows about the blood that the doctor took from her a week or so beforehand, she was upset with him, her young mind thinking that he had stolen her blood, and without the knowledge to realise that she would actually get it back. She'd cried coming out of the doctors, but now that doesn't matter- she's packed up her bags to stay with nana, and she can't wait. But a call from the hospital who had looked at her blood tests, changes all of her plans. She sits with nana and Mum in the hospital, not really worrying, a bit bewildered maybe, picking up random toys, letting the adults do all the talking. She only really gets upset, when she sees that nana is leaving, and she is still there. Why? She is a day away from a coma, an incredibly high blood sugar and a generally very very lucky girl. But at the moment, she doesn't feel lucky, she resents the nurses for taking her holiday away from her. She cries. Eventually she settles down, she's fed horrible hospital food, and then they teach her how to inject. Mum practices on an orange. The girl, takes an unfilled needle, and is given permission to practice on the leg of her diabetic specialist nurse, it takes her mind off things for a while. A doctor comes in and tries to take more blood, he's making a mess of it and the girl laughs, diverting her attention away from the wheres wally book that a nurse sat next to her on the bed is looking at with her. Despite her upset, she seems to make the best of it. In a way she basks in the attention of the nurses, one nurse in particular she is very fond of, this nurse takes her down to the play room and brings her books, and on one occasion makes up a strange substance which looks like liquid until you play with it and then it becomes more solid, and she loves it whilst looking at it in confusion. She doesn't understand the ins and outs of her condition yet. She doesn't even know the word "pancreas" to know that it isn't working. She doesn't realise at this point, that within three months she will become so learned in diabetes, and that the words "Human Mixtard 30 G E" will become very common in her vocabulary where they probably wont be in other people her age. She certainly doesn't realise, that 12 years down the line, the advancements for people with diabetes will have come on as much as they have, in fact where she is now, newly diagnosed, playing with Beth in the playroom, she doesn't really even know the word "diabetes", though it's going to become a HUGE part of her life.

There's many things I can say about diabetes, many people to thank, I can talk endlessly about the advancements that have happened in my lifetime and the ones that are coming up, I can talk about the benifits of having diabetes aswell as the not so good things. But I'm saving it for other posts, today was just about how I got it, and my first experiences of a hospital. And just to remind everyone that being diabetic, though it might be tedious and sometimes it's normal to just wish you were normal, like all the other kids your age, and that's okay, but having it isn't all that bad. I'll go into that later, when I'm not so tired and it isn't 1:05 am.

Just remember-
Keep Smiling :)
Love, Tutti-Frutti.
xxx