As I think I've already mentioned, I am rather too independent with my diabetes control. I keep most of it to myself, even when I am aware that it is infringing my health. Today, I lost some of my hold over my diabetes, and though the thought scared the hell out of me at first, now that it's over and done with I've come to the conclusion that it wasn't so bad.
The Problem I Had:
The main problem I had derives from what my psychology teacher explained to me, basically, there was my counsellor, and people from hospital aswell as people from home all meeting at school with people from school (including myself). My psychology teacher explained to me that I have to have things in context in my head and I keep them rigourosly into the context that I know them from, he classed it as I have additional needs because when I try place them in another context I really start to stress out more than I should. I have them in boxes almost, so the people from hospital are in a hospital box, and my counsellor has her own box ect ect, but what happened today was that all of my boxes were mixed up and I didn't know how to cope with it properly. But the people from school, and my counsellor especially did a good job at keeping me calm enough to be able to talk to them properly, and I'm happy enough now that there are things that have been said which probably wouldn't have been said otherwise.
I've agreed to let people in a bit more as far as my diabetes is concerned. Counselling, is mine, that stays between me and my counsellor, but diabetes, I can't cope with it on my own like I thought I could, I don't think any of us can, obviously I've tried, but I guess I let the freedom get to my head, and then when I hit problems I didn't want to relent my hold. It was a control thing above all else I guess.
I'm better at the minute, I have a thirty day blood sugar average of 5.4 which is brilliant. And I'm not actually putting myself into harms way like I probably was before. So though I was scared of that meeting, though my psychology teacher thinks I have additional needs because I can't deal with people out of context (I probably agree with him) It was the best thing to have this meeting, it really was, I don't want one again in a hurry though :D
Keep Smiling :)
Love, Tutti-Frutti
xxx
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